Day 31- Fix

Tag:  For days that could not get any worse...
Tag:  For when you are ready to sink deep into a hole and raise a white flag...
Tag:  For a time when you finally cried after holding in those salty tears for so long...

Grab your laptop and head to the lavatory.  Place the burgandy hand towel on the toilet seat and rest your laptop as to not give it a "soggy bottom."  Make sure, oh this is a very important component, that you have hung up your new clear shower curtain and have put yourself behind it.  Before you do this, however, you should make sure you turn your lights off. You may have to stumble your way back if you have not turned your laptop on to provide light.  And if you have done this (turned it on) do that before you get behind the curtain too.  Now, here it is your choice on whether you would like to add bath salts,  bubbles, etc to your water.  Go with how your feeling, you know.  So, here we are.  Turn the water on, while sitting in the dark bathroom lit by the backlight of your laptop.  Fill the tub with water and splash water onto the inside of the curtain.  You need to make sure that the majority of the curtain's surface is covered with droplets of water. When the tub is filled to your satisfaction, turn the water off, sit back and wait.  What are you waiting for? The backlight will suddenly turn off, just when you have finally realized that the relaxing setting you have created is perfect.

Insert feelings here.

P.S.:  If you do not have a latop, tub, and clear shower curtain, I am sorry... please find something else to pull you out of your abyss...

Day 30- Sunshine

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day.  

According to my car, it was 70 degrees when I was out today.  It is so nice to see this beautiful weather that has been on hiatus for the past while.  I am sure everyone is itching their britches and getting spring fever now.  

I, however, will enjoy our last few weeks of the chilly season.

Day 29- Haircut

Today I cut my luscious locks. 

There is something so refreshing about changing your hair in a drastic way.  I don't know if I will miss my long hair or not, but I can say that I am digging the new do for now.

Day 28- Weekend

It's Friday!!!

Day 27- Me Wants

Day 26- Kisses

Gabe and I invent new cutesy kisses all the time. 

Yes, I am seriously posting this. 

Sometimes these silly kisses stick around for a long time, sometimes they are lost within a week or two.  Just recently we have come up with another (and by we, I mean me- because this is something I usually do- Gabe goes along just because, well, he's awesome Gabe) that is perhaps my favorite.  It is what I now like to call the "cartoon kiss."  Just imagine (if you haven't already stopped reading by now for thinking this is ridiculous) an overly-puckered, annoying Japanime sound effect kiss and you probably have it.  

It makes me giggle on the inside so I don't care what you think.  I like it. 

Day 25- Loss

I weighed in this morning for the Marion school Biggest Loser...

  lost 5 pounds this week.  I have never lost that much weight in one week before.  

Also, I found that I really, really enjoy exercise. 

Day 24- Snow Flakes

An unexpected dusting of snow flurries this morning was great.  Snow is so beautiful and watching it fall in the beams of my headlights this morning was lovely.

Day 23- Groceries

I noticed today while loading our groceries onto the conveyor belt at the store that over the past year our eating has completely changed.  Looking at all the colorful fruits and veggies and other items made me feel so good.  Eating right and exercise has become much more of a priority in my life and I think it is a beautiful thing to feel this healthy.

Day 22- Drive In

Monday through Friday around 6:45 am you can find me in about the same place.  I am taking the same road to the same destination at the same time.  And more than likely I am putting my make up on while driving, just entering Shelby (this is one of my many bad habits, but I like to see it as time efficient).  See, I  have my morning routine down, dovetailing all tasks as to allow myself to wake up at the last possible second.  Today while making this same drive to see a student's basketball game a place I have seen countless times, a place I have even visited, stood out to me like never before.  Today, however, I was taking the same road to a different destination at a different time- perhaps that is why? 

From a distance I could see the old, almost retro, "Sunset Drive In" sign.  In big letters it said "closed."  It caught my attention first as I looked at it and thought it would be a great photograph.  As I passed the drive-in I glanced over at the huge dilapidated screen.  It was worn from years of weathering but still looked like it could last forever.  Then I noticed all of the white poles sticking out of the ground- they looked like gigantic straws diagonally coming out from the grass. 

It all looked so empty and lonely and very much like a wasted space.  This is what made it so beautiful to me.  I thought to myself how happy this place must be in the winter to get a rest from people trampling all through it to watch a movie in the comfort of their cars, lawn chairs, tailgates, blankets... 

Day 21- Kid

"Miss Goad, you are the only teacher that acts like a kid."

Day 20- Wolf Like Me

For the past three days I have listened to this song the last leg of my drive home.  Many times when a cd is in my cd player I do not take it out... I just listen to it one or two songs at a time over and over again.  This cd, I found myself listening to this song over and over.  I really do not think there is a better song to drive to. There are many Radiohead songs that are forever favorites for driving, but this song takes driving to a whole new level.  From the very beginning of the song, dancing is not an option it is a reflex.  Yes, people stare and smile or giggle, but it makes it that much more enjoyable.  I mean, is it really possible to even listen to this song with out getting into it? 

Yes, please turn it up!

Thank you TV on the Radio for making my drives more enjoyable and full of beautiful dancing fun.

Day 19- Angels in America pt. 2

Tonight, my most marvelous counterpart and I finished Angels in America (the mini-series).  

I must say that upon completion of the first disc we had to seriously think before deciding that we would finish the series and get the next disc.  The beginnings were a little slow and cheesy for my taste.  However, I enjoyed the characters, Roy being my favorite, from the get-go.  Al Pacino plays the best conservative republican homophobic homosexual with AIDS- Roy.  Harper (Mary Louise Parker tripping out on depression meds at all times) was a close second.  The writing was fantastic, but still... the first disc just didn't "stick" for me.  

Disc 2 took the dark turn that I was craving.  The characters, who were already the best part, became more and more... commanding.  I found myself hanging on to every word coming from every mouth.  I found myself not blinking as to not miss one of the ever-changing emotions that was being thrown at me.  I found myself being completely submerged in this story line that I once was so unsure of.  

I didn't like the very ending.  I liked the ending, or the "resolution" or whatever, but the last scene was unnecessary.  Everything else on this second disc, leading up to this ending, in all of it's cheesiness, was perfect.  It was thought provoking, influential, depressing, forceful, fantastical and beautiful.

Day 18- Angels in America

Belize: Mmmm. Big city. Overgrown with weeds, but flowering weeds. On every corner a wrecking crew and something new and crooked going up catty corner to that. Windows missing in every edifice like broken teeth, gritty wind, and a gray high sky full of ravens.
Roy Cohn: Isaiah.
Belize: Prophet birds, Roy. Piles of trash, but lapidary like rubies and obsidian, and diamond-colored cowspit streamers in the wind. And voting booths. And everyone in Balenciaga gowns with red corsages, and big dance palaces full of music and lights and racial impurity and gender confusion. And all the deities are creole, mulatto, brown as the mouths of rivers. Race, taste and history finally overcome. And you ain't there.
Roy Cohn: And Heaven?
Belize: That was Heaven, Roy.

Day 17- Dinner

Tonight I had the wonderful privilege to treat my dad to dinner.  It is so nice to do something for someone who has done everything for you.

Day 16- In the Sky

...there were these long, puffy strings of pink cotton candy. 

What beautiful clouds they were.

Day 15- Wake Up

The internet was down here all day yesterday... Day 14 is lost. 

This morning I woke up and like most mornings stumbled into the bathroom, hitting a few door frames, to relieve myself.  Gabe followed, and then went  to make his morning coffee while I decided to lay in bed for a while.  Of course I drifted back to sleep and stole another 20 minutes, unintentionally. Inside info: Me, I am unusually excited about sleep.  When I see someone lay down to go to sleep in a movie or on a tv show I get giddy just thinking about myself sleeping later.  And at night when I decide to shut my eyes to fall asleep, that few minutes before I actually fall into the unconscious- that is my favorite time of the day.  

Anyway, this morning I woke up for the second time to Gabe playing guitar.  He plays so beautifully, even though at any mention of his guitar playing he quickly tells you how he is so out of practice and hasn't played in x amount of time.  To me, perhaps it is because I am musical instrument talentless, everything he plays is perfect.  Slowly waking up to each pick and strum...

I can tell you, this was the best way to wake up and a beautiful start to my day. 

Day 13- Bath

I do not usually take baths.  This is not because I don't enjoy baths, but rather because it makes me feel gross to take a bath in a shower where other people- people I do not know and have never met- have put their feet.  I am not usually this neurotic about these things... it just...is an uncomfortable thought for me.  

Today I noticed that Gabe had cleaned the shower.  I have been so cold and have been bundled up all night trying to get warm.  It didn't work and I knew the only thing that would work was a hot, hot bath. 

So... I had the most amazing bath ever.  It am perfectly warm right now which has made my night comfortable and beautifully relaxing.

Day 12- Ice

It happened this morning...

on the way to work, driving in the sun that was MIA the past few days.  No school, 2 hour delay for teachers- this means I had this "I am strolling on into work" mentality.  

Gabe had given me a mixed cd.  He handed me two, actually.  They were identical and not labeled.

Gabe- Here these are for you

Me- Are they mixed cds or one artist? or what?

Gabe- Mixes.  One is for like a dance party; the other is... acoustic. 

Me- k. Thanks. 

On the way to work I put one of these cds in.  I was not sure if it would be this dance party mix or the mellow acoustic mix but had decided to listen to it fully no matter what it was.  It was the latter (this made me happy, as I was definitely in more of a "mellow-mood" this morning). As the second or third song was coming on the most beautiful thing happened in the lane going the opposite way (on Hwy 74).  

Thinking back I can't even remember what, specifically, the song was.  All I know is that it was, as Gabe had previously described, "acoustic" and I am sure it helped make this moment so beautiful.   Anyway, the second I looked over the opposite lane a large semi-truck-thing (never have been sure of the proper term for these) released a layer of snow directly towards the sky.  It happened exactly the instant I looked at it as though my glance had actually caused this eruption.  This semi had been driving for who knows how long with this large sheet of ice frozen solid to it's roof.  I guess the air finally hit it right, or the truck hit a bump, or whatever. Whatever it was, it was beautiful.  The sun shining through all the pieces that seemed to fly up in an instant and fall in slow motion.

It reminded me of these shapes that we use in elementary schools for math instruction- tangrams.  They are those shapes that are different primary colors and include shapes like parallelograms, rhombi, squares, etc..  Well, yeah, it was like 50 huge white tangrams had shot into the air from this truck. 

...and I felt lucky to witness it.

Day 11- Kid

Tonight, while sledding we met this cool kid, T.  We tried to find a sled today to replace our cardboard boxes that were, well, shreds at this point.  We did not find a sled, but our crafty neighboors had rigged a sled using some vinyl and other objects- I mean, it worked or whatever.  

So this kid, T, comes up and has this plastic sled.  We watch him sled down the hill in envy of his toy. He went down a few times and I guess he could see how much we wanted what he had.  So, T, in all of his awesomeness, offered his sled up to us.  I, of course, immediately jumped on this opportunity to really go down this hill.  I did, we did and it was super fun.  T kept up with the rotations of "turns" with his sled.  He did not use it any more or any less than anyone else out there.  He was awesome and made our sledding experience the best ever.

Day 10- Snow

I am having a secret love affair with this snow.  I know I am supposed to be upset that we are going to have to make-up these days at school, but I am just overjoyed and inspired by the beauty of the white landscape outside of my window.  It is so neat how at 7:00 pm when we went out to play it still seemed so light outside.  The lights all bouncing off of the white coated ground made everything seem so...artificial.  I liked it.  We went sledding with cardboard boxes.  I seem to enjoy this more than a real sled.  It feels like an adventure this way.  Like we had this neat idea that no one else had.  

OH! We made mint chocolate snow cream.  Yeah, eat that up. 

Day 9- Good Eats

Today I enjoyed a day of beautiful food. 

For Breakfast...

I made orange and cranberry muffins with real cranberries.  They were delectable.  

For Dinner...

I made the most beautiful cucumber and bean salad.  I used my new knives that I got for Christmas and took my time cutting up each vegetable, trying to dice uniformly.  With this salad we had portabello burgers with pesto sauce on ciabatta rolls.  It was absolutely one of the best and fresh dinners I have made in a while.  I loved using so many colorful veggies!

Day 8- Stumbled Upon...

Day 7- Crescent Moon

Tonight, the moon looked down with a silly grin










.

Day 6- Reader

I have a student who is considered a "non-reader."  Today, my non-reader voluntarily read a complete sentence out loud in front of a group students with no mistakes. This same student, the first several weeks of class, would "hide" between bookshelves and under tables during our "reading circle."  He was afraid to be called on to read- even though that is something I do not do, I only take volunteers during reading circle. 

I was thrilled when I happened to walk by his small group who was reading a levelled reader that corresponds to our main text on Benjamin Franklin.  

I have watched him grow so much in the past few months and have been inspired by his growing desire to exceed all expectations. 

I get so much joy from my profession. 

Day 5- Multiple Personalities

Today I got a letter from my mom.  She is in jail, once again.  Normally this would upset me to some degree, but tonight it did not. Maybe I am just getting used to it? But really, who gets used to that?

In the letter she told me she has multiple personality disorder.  She was diagnosed while in jail.  I don't know why this made me feel better, but for some reason it did.  Perhaps it is because it answers many questions I have.  I am not sure...

that's all I have to say.

And for those of you asking yourself, "is this something Kristin considers beautiful?" Just know my response would be a simple nod of the head.

Day 4- Dad

Warning/Disclaimer: This is a sappy, yet beautiful (to me), entry. 

This Christmas was different from any other Christmas in that I did not get to see my dad.  Because of snow, sickness, and distance, this year we celebrated a week and three days later (today).  I do not want to ever do that again (wait), but it was so fantastic to see him.  He, Alisa, and I exchanged some gifts and had supper.  It was all very delightful.  

Upon my departure, driving out of the driveway, I was reminded of the Sundays when I used to leave to go back to school.  After visiting for a weekend, sometimes feeling like I couldn't wait to get back to Boone, it was always so hard for me to leave.  Many times I would want to just go back, turn around, and be safe. But one thing that kept me going and going and going...

that was my dad.  

I always wanted to make him proud.  I never wanted to let him down.  This was not in a negative or unhealthy way- it was what kept me going so many...hard...days. I remember always telling people, "he is my rock."

  I still feel this way and when he tells me he is proud of me or how great I am, I always think in my head "thanks, to you"  (cheesy, yet so true).

Day 3- V

While living in these apartments for the past 4 months, I have somehow gone from having 2 cats to having 6-8 cats.  When we first moved in and I saw the clan of stray cats who had settled in our new dwelling, I was hesitant on feeding them. 

Will it annoy the neighbors?

Do I want to make this a habit?

Will more come? 

It took, however, only about a week before I was feeding them scraps from dinner... then a few weeks later I was buying cat food for them (the cheap brand, of course)... and shortly after that I was naming them.  I would constantly try to pet them but they always ran away from my outstretched hands.  Eventually I was able to get 2 of these cats to let me pet them- one even comes and visits our inside cats on occasion.  I was excited and was thrilled to see them bask in my attention.  We named these two, Barton Fink and Sky.  Both of them have only one eye.

And then there was V...

V is probably the ugliest cat.  V's coat looks like one of those paint blots you make in elementary school- the ones where you fold a piece of construction paper in half, put a few dots of paint in the middle, and press the sides together- the dots of paint being brown, black, and yellow.  

V has become Arlo's (our beloved Siamese cat) girlfriend, I do believe.  They sit on opposite sides of our bedroom window glass and seem to play with each other.  For this reason I very much wanted to pet her.  I tried constantly and she would just sniff my fingers and then run and roll around on the grass. But...

Tonight! Tonight! Tonight she let me pet her.  It was only for a second, but to me it was SWEET SWEET victory.  I am happy now.  The end.

Day 2- "Miss Goad"

Today as I was preparing for school to start back, I decided it was time to clean all the student-made drawings from the sides of my desks. This is the new year, time to start fresh. See, as I get these drawings, doodles, posters, etc. from my students, I display them by taping them to the front and side of my desk.  I love getting these and love even more to see how much it means to my students when I hang them.  I have been doing this since the beginning of the year and as I filled the desk sides, I began taping the artwork on top of each other, creating layers and layers of notebook paper, computer paper, and construction paper that was full of bubble-letters, rainbows, letters, comic strips, signature pages, page-sized flowers, mazes...  

As I was peeling away these layers, I came upon a rap that a student had written about me.  I remember the day he gave it to me and how we laughed and smiled as I read it out loud.  Some parts were funny, some sweet, some put their just so it could rhyme.  I immediately  taped it to my desk (on top of others) and this awesome kid, he showed me his satisfaction-filled smile. Today, after finding it, I read it again.  I realized this time how sweet and honest the words are.  

Miss Goad

Miss Goad is cool Miss Goad is fun
Miss Goad is a mom to everyone.

She cares about what you say

She has a new outfit everyday. 

She is 12 years older than us

and she doesn't like to fuss. 

If you do something wrong you have to pull a stick

and don't even try to catch a fit. 

She makes stuff fun

and she waits for you to get done

she lets us work  in partners everyday

if you are not organized you will pay

you don't want to make a mess

she'll clean up some and you'll do the rest

I love her because she is so cool

you should have seen her when she was in school

If your row is nice and neat

she will give you a sweet treat

I tell you now she is smart

and Miss Goad has a lot of heart! 

We play sparkle every Thursday

And she will give some stuff away

She is so neat...

and did I mention she gives out treats?

My teacher.

Day 1- New Year

I waved good-bye to 2010 on the edge of my seat during Aronofsky's new flick, Black Swan, with my most amazing male counterpart.  As we were driving home and listening to a CD featuring a mix of some of my favorite songs, this song played.  It was very late-or early- and was the most perfect ending to a great night.  The song is by Thom Yorke and PJ Harvey and is called This Mess We're In.  

It's beauty, and the beauty of the moment in which I experienced it... 

I was, 

how do you say it?  

moved. 

 please enjoy: 

and in the distant future, when I get hitched, this will be my wedding march.  decided.