It was nice to find out we both had mixed feelings...

I was reunited with my long lost love just a few days ago.  Sometimes I think I have forgotten what it is like to hang out with girls.  This is what made me nervous.  So nervous that the feelings of excitement had to take a backseat for a moment. 

May I just say, she is more beautiful than I remember.  (I know she thinks I am writing this because I know she will read it- I would write it anyway, dear friend). We had plans for the day and though we made it through only half of them (thanks to great conversation and Bad Girls Club on demand), it was still fantastic.  I look forward to the next time we get to reunite (soon, please). 

I am counting down the days until I get to reunite with one of the most important people in my life.  We have let distance pull us apart but I cannot wait to see her again.  

SO LOOKING FORWARD TO TUESDAY. 

It is spring break.  FINALLY. 

I made a New Years resolution that brought this blog into existence.  It was my intention to blog everyday and I didn't even make it half way through the year.  Maybe I had unrealistic expectations.  Maybe in the past few weeks of chaos and stress I chose to focus more on the things that were bringing me down than the beautiful things that were happening despite the waste of energy on negativity.  I want to promise myself that I will keep this up but I don't want to let myself down again.  Great things did happen this past week. 

I realize this entry sounds depressing.  I am not unhappy.  Like I said, it is spring break! :)

Good is coming I can feel it.

Day 101?

I am sad I missed Day 100.  That should be like a milestone or something.  However, there are NOT 100 entries... 

I am back, though.  I have come up from air from my jewelry making after my most wonderful boyfriend "hounded" me for days and days.  That's not true.  But, like any awesome boyfriend should, he did ask me several times about it. So here I am.  Not out of obligation.  Not because Gabe asked for it.  

Because I want to be.  :)

Day 96- Octopus

Sometimes things creep their way into existence in my mind.  

Sometimes they are forced. 

Sometimes, by chance, I run into them in numerous unrelated instances.  

I saw this octopus pendant on eBay.  It was quite beautiful and I added it to my watch list, unsure of my intentions.  That day (this was actually yesterday) while stumbling through pictures on facebook, I saw this same pendant being worn by a friend of a friend.  

Tonight, while looking at some other pictures (yes, I realize this paints me as a facebook-picture-stalker) I saw this same pendant again.  I don't know what is creepier- me stalking facebook pictures or seeing this odd, rare, octopus pendant 3 times, randomly, in a 24 hour period. 

Yes, perhaps this is the "new car" syndrome in which you suddenly notice something common, now important, when it was always there before. 

Yes, perhaps this is a sign that I should buy this pendant and it will bring me good fortune.  

But...Most likely, I will not buy it and will forget it in a few days.

Day 95- New Music, for Me.

Day 93- Old Town, New Town

Since moving to Forest City I must say I have been less than impressed with my surroundings.  I must also  say that I did not have high expectations to begin with, so I was really not too let down.  But I am happy to have moved out of old places where people were more ugly than I expected- not ALL people... some.  

Today Gabe and I went out on an excursion through the downtown of Forest City.  We loaded our bikes in his truck and really had no idea where we were going to ride. We settled in a parking space in the middle of downtown.  While taking back alleys and side streets to nowhere, we found weathered, dilapidated, beautiful places.  An abandoned old factory parking lot was one of my favorites.  Black asphalt lying next to a not-so-old yet not-so-new factory with slight inclines felt like the best find in this town.  Along with this were the back doors and boarded windows with pigeons that became perfect photos in my mind. 

While riding back to the car I shared my new found love for this city with Gabe.  I saw many stores, nooks and crannies that I did not know even existed.  I am looking forward to "branching out" and trying new places in this town that is feeling more and more like home, finally, after 6 months. 

Day 92- Man, I am slacking here.

I had a super fantastic weekend. 

Friday night was our normal "date night."  Every Friday we indulge in some delicious Mexican food at a place that knows our orders by heart and brings us complimentary Sopapilla.  I look forward to this all week.

Saturday I had the privilege to take my dad to play laser tag for his birthday.  First of all it is awesome that he even suggested this, but more than that it turned out to be the most fun I have had in a long time! Afterward I went shopping at Michael's for jewelery supplies and finished out at Olive Garden- YUMMMMM. 

Today my sweetheart treated me to a healthy, delicious breakfast.  We took a bike ride in perfect weather to ICC and visited their duckpond. 

So, really... Could it get any better?

no.

Day 90- Happy Birthday Dad!

My dad called me a "lotus flower" today.  :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Day 89-Bye Bye Bye

Today I feel more like myself.  Not that I didn't feel like myself before- I guess emphasis on the more here.  I have taken the next step to my super short chic haircut and took off several more inches.  I love it, but more importantly, I love the way I feel. 

Day 87- Questions...

Sometimes it takes talking to someone who is lost to realize how "found" you are.  Listening to someone ask themselves and you unanswerable questions causes you to reflect upon who you have become and the things and people who mean the most to you.  I am happy to think back on a few years ago when I was so unsure who I was supposed to be. I am happy because I have become someone so much better than I ever could have thought possible.  I may not be living where I would like to be and I may not have everything figured out, but I am happy- and that is all I need. 

Day 86- NEW HOBBY!

Today I made my first 2 necklaces.  I was fun and I was very pleased with the results.  I will post pictures. 

Day 85- A Little Late

Online Karaoke with Gabe. 

The best part is that you can record yourself and then laugh to tears when you listen.  Love it. 

www.karaokeplay.com

Day 84- Bragging? Yes.

I had a wonderful post conference with our principal today.  It was a conference for my unannounced observation earlier this week.  Not only did I score high marks, but I also was told the following things: 

"I could sit in your classroom all day"

"You have one of the most comfortable, nurturing, learning-friendly environments..."

"You are one of the best first year teachers I have seen"

"There really is nothing I can say needs improvement"

It is nice to get a job well done.

Day 82- Winner

Who won the Marion School Biggest Loser competition? yeah... that'd be me.

Day 81- Lovely Day

Today the weather was perfect.  It was perfect for being outside or inside with the back door propped open and windows raised.  It was perfect for driving with the windows down.  I wish it would stay this way.

I enjoyed a nice drive into the country, full of yellow fields, with Gabreal today.  He is such an exceptional listener when I go on tangents that pigeon walk from one subject to the next for 10 minutes at a time.  I know I filled his ears with school nonsense and silly ramblings, but he didn't seem to mind.  I hope he didn't mind...

Day 80- hoot

This beautiful necklace came in the mail today. :) 

Day 79- On a String...

I have been in desperate need of a hobby. 

I have settled on making jewelry.  Most likely this will be for fun and for myself, but who knows... 

I am just craving a creative outlet and have been researching this and obsessing with supplies on ebay. 

I'm EXCITED!

Day 78- Da Feet

It counts as today because today started at 12 am.  I was the recipient of a ridiculously excellent foot massage last night. Kudos also to Pandora for the fine tunes that helped make this foot massage so perfect.

Day ?- Hiatus

It was not by choice.  It was not on purpose.  It was inevitable.  

Our "free" internet decided to turn on us.  It once welcomed us with it's open, high speed, arms.  With no warning, it left us high and dry. I was nearing an intervention anyway.   I must say for a day or so I was a little lost, which is ridiculous seeing that a few months ago I was on a 3 year run with no internet.  After getting over the initial withdrawal symptoms, I rediscovered some simple pleasures in my life.  They are as follows...

1.  Morning walks

2.  Video Rentals

3.  Baking Brownies

4.  Eating dinner with the main entertainment being conversation

5.  Eating dinner on the back porch

6.  Hard Boiled Eggs (I do have a problem with boredom-eating)

7.  Thinking.

8.  No school email at home

...I will probably be adding to this list, my eggs just finished boiling . Seriously.  Cage Free, baby.

Day 68- How to Be Alone

I know I post a lot of videos.  I have to admit that I sometimes I do this because I am not simply in the mood to type out thoughts.  This conflict was mentioned to me by people when telling them my idea about this blog. But be assured that I never post a video haphazardly.  Every video I have posted has been something beautiful to me, whether it be something discovered that day in my YouTube escapades or in the past. 

As I post this video I want to give it what it deserves.  This video makes me smile inside.  This woman's voice-over slowly made its way inside of my head as I decided she has one of the most interesting and captivating voices ever.  Her message is just at beautiful and captivating.  The video is entitled "How to be Alone."

Day 67- Little Human Beans

Let me start by saying, I love reading novels with my class.  

I have never been a strong reader and was almost terrified to teach reading.  I felt like it was my weakest area and that I would inevitably fail my students.  I can say that while teaching this year I have watched my students grow to love reading and have done the same in the process. 

There is something about sitting under our classroom tree.  

There is something about my students sitting on the window sill, in the bench, on the back table, and sprawled out on the floor.  

There is just something about these little random, different bodies scattered around for our relaxed, yet highly productive, reading "circle." 

I feel this is the place our classroom family grows closer.  Where students who were terrified to read in groups volunteer to read over and over and over.  Today I could see this growing to be true when we discussed this passage as pointed out by a student to share as something that stuck out to them: 

"Human beans are disappearing everywhere without giants is guzzling them up.  Human beans is killing each other much faster than the giants is doing it...human beans is the only animal that is killing their own kind." 

I love it when they "get it." 

Day 66- "I just don't wanna blog."

Day 65- Cloutains

This evening the clouds disguised themselves as mountains.  

Day 64- Show

Thrift Stores. 

60 books for under ten dollars. 

1/2 of a Sloppy Jane at Mayfels.

1/2 of a Pritchard Park Portabello at Mayfels...

Bright Eyes concert. 

Day 63- Kids

Today was the last day of the food drive that my class sponsored.  I am truly amazed at how much food was collected! 

Total:  715 cans

Kids can be so amazing.

Day 62- Voice Mail?

I realized today that I had 10 voice mails that had just been lingering in my inbox for sometime now.  These were voice mails that I had not listened to, and most of them I had completely forgotten were in existence.  Well, I finally listened to them today and it was almost like going back into the past.  

I enjoyed, for some odd reason, listening to them.  It took me about 15 minutes to get through them all, but it was almost like I had a conversation with 7 different people when it was over.  I liked, I suppose.  I guess this isn't really something that was beautiful, but at this point I felt like trying to come up with something that I could type up tonight would be almost impossible.  It's not that my day was awful- my brain is just fried.  After 6 hours of conferences with parents I am not sure that I could even generate a genuine thought at this moment. 

Day 61

Day 60 is for...

Warm Smooches.

Day 59- the raindrops

There are some lovely things about torrential rain storms:

everything washes clean.  

I used to love to walk in the rain when I was in school.  Since it was in Boone, the weather always seemed to have a mind of it's own and it was usually windy- too windy to properly hold an umbrella right-side out.  

the smell is... unique.

Eventually I reached this point where I was not afraid to get wet.  I did not need an umbrella or poncho, just an ipod playing "Sit Down, Stand Up" by Radiohead.  

everything seems to get greener.  green is my favorite color.

I loved to watch people finagling with their instruments in search of staying dry while Thom sang "...the raindrops, the raindrops, the raindrops..." 

the sound, when you are inside, has such a calming effect. 

I look back at these memories and think about how fun that was forgetting how depressed I probably was.  I think its a good thing that I can remember that time positively, or maybe I am just naive. 

the puddles- until one catches you.

Day 58- Calm Before the Storm

This week is going to be reeeee-diculous. 

There are lots of things going on after school for which I have to be in attendance.  Two nights I  will get home around 8.  

Today, in anticipation of this coming week, I took it easy.  I enjoyed being lazy and indulging in bad television and then ventured out to the gym.  I made a delicious and fresh supper- 

1.  Portabello burgers with fresh spinach

2.  Squash, Onion, Tomato, and Garlic Stir Fry

3.  Fresh Chilled Pineapple

I feel more prepared for this long week now. 

Day 56-57: Nice Drive

Today I had one of those days.  I was feeling down today from the moment I woke up.  I was definitely in a funk and wanted to do nothing productive.  I managed to muster up enough gusto to clean the kitchen and straighten up the bedroom.  I felt guilty not getting up and getting things done.  It made me feel even more guilty when I saw Gabe doing multiple loads of laundry and cleaning the bathroom.  Late afternoon, I finally took a shower.  Gabe and I had some errands to run, one of them being in Polkville (about 30 minutes away).  During this drive we listened to Radiohead's new album, The King of Limbs.  Gabe shared with me that he was also feeling this same funk that had made home in my body and we chatted about this.  On our way back to Forest City, before I could realize it, my mood had twisted, turned, flipped, and shuttered.  I was smiling, giggling, and talking non-stop as if my funk had turned into funky.  There were several beautiful things that happened on this 30 minute drive home from a dust-stirring lawnmower to great conversation.  I wish I had the patience to share each and every detail of these moments, but I do not.  Just know that there were these beautiful things, and most importantly they all happened during a beautiful drive with my love.

Day 54-55

Day 53- MoodRegulatorrr

Today I had a very productive day.  I have learned that one important quality of a teacher is the ability to use every possible second of planning time while still making it to music, art, PE, science lab, or the library at the exact correct moment- just before the next class comes in- to pick up your kids and rush back to the classroom because you were just reminded that there are less than 50 days until the End of Grade test.  So I did my best to scurry around and get things done today.  

I was most thrilled about exercising today for the first time in 2 weeks.  I have been looking forward to it and can't wait until I can really use the machines, not feel like I am just piddling around as to not over exert myself.  But I must say that it was a beautifully thing to get back into it.  I have missed my "mood-regulator," cousin to the "smooth operator." 

By the way, I am still not 100% sure where this blog is going.  Perhaps I should have put more thought into that upon creating it, but I am just a procrastinating-wing-it kinda girl.  I will soon figure it out...

Day 52- Chitterchatterchitterchatter

Sometimes it is good just to talk. 

Even if it is to yourself.

Even if it is to your cats. 

Even if it is to the radio or tv screen.  

Day 51- Big 5-0

Happy Birthday to Ken Cook!

He turns 50 on the 51st day of the year. 

Day 50- Lotus Flower

I do believe that this song was written for this blog... And in case you didn't know: this weekend has been declared "National Radiohead Weekend" by yours truly. 

Day 49- The King of Limbs

Long drive. 

Full Moon. 

New Radiohead Album.

Day 48- Groovy

I have never before seen Thom get down like this.

Day 47- Pump, Pump, Pump it up.

School, lately, has made me feel like a flat tire.  

Not only am I exhausted every Monday through Friday, the added stress of not knowing what I will be doing next year has made the last couple of weeks a blur.  

Today we had a guest speaker come to my school.  It was, to say the least, the best professional development I have ever been to.  I have attended many seminars of educators/speakers/professionals/etc and he was the best!  I left feeling pumped and excited about the rest of the year! 

Day 46- Climbing Up the Walls

I am strong. 

I am stronger than your average 24 year old girl, err... woman. 

Even though I cry at sappy stories, I am strong.

I have lived lifetimes of scary, heartbreak, unhappiness, unsureness, obscurity...

and I think I am doing just fine. 

Maybe I do owe most it to the people in my life, but I am not gonna sell myself short.  I am strong because I decided to be.  I am strong because I decided to learn, grown, change, blend.  

So, yes, I can handle this.  I can handle everything that is slowly building brick by brick to create a wall that has every intention of stopping me dead in my tracks.  See, I am gonna learn to climb walls. And me, you can find me, climbing up the walls.  And either way you turn, I'll be there.  Open up your skull, I'll be there.  Climbing up the walls.

Day 45- "It's Valentine's Day"

Gabe just  gave me a beautiful tree locket and an even more beautiful card covered from top to bottom with indescribably beautiful words.

Day 44- Kitty Kitty

This is Arlo.  He joined our family 2 years ago as an 8 week old little puff ball.  He is and has always been the sweetest and cuddliest cat I have ever known.  

Day 43- Great Documentary

Day 40-Day 42- People so dear

Due to an injury a few days ago, I am behind.  I would like to say that there is one thing, however, that I can post that would fit into a post for each of those missing days.  My wonderful boyfriend, Gabe, has been the best caretaker a "crippled-girl" (I know that can't be politically correct) could  ask for.  He has attended to my every need.  

Today, I got to chat briefly via text with one of my most favorite people of all.  She is an amazing and strong lady that will always be so dear to me.  I can never get enough. 

Day 39- Dogtooth

If you know me then you know I love film. 

If you really know me then you know I love good films.  

If you really, really know me then you know that I love to think about good films and reflect for long periods of time.  Only 2 people really, really, really know me. 

We (Gabe and I) watched Dogtooth recently.  I do not want to get into a synopsis, you can IMDB it, but I do want to STRONGLY recommend that you check it out.  I don't care who you are and whether I personally think you will like it, it should be seen.  It is disturbing so prepare to be disturbed.  

I laughed more than I should have during this movie but didn't feel guilty about it.  I liked that.  I like that several days later (now) I can think about things that are so important to the storyline, yet things I did not notice due to the fact that my jaw was hanging open from either shock or laughter.  I very much like that this film was nominated for an Oscar.  

You wont see it, I know, but that is not the point of this post anyway.  The point is to share my excitement in the beauty of films that play over and over in your head for days after the first viewing. 

Day 38-

Gabe didn't let me give up.  Honestly, I gave up too easily.  Shame on me. One rough week and I throw in the towel? This is something I have to work on. 

Mondays are usually awful.  Last Monday was especially awful.  This Monday- not so bad.  I really appreciate days that go exceptionally well, but when Mondays are even just "above average," it is a call for celebration.  It wasn't a manic Monday for many reasons:

a) we did not have a meeting during our planning period as usual. 

b) the meeting after school was short

c) my kids were well behaved

d) we began The B.F.G. unit

e) vegetarian sloppy joes

f) duty free lunch

You see, when Mondays go right... it is quite possibly one of the most beautiful of gifts.  

Day 37- Back

I decided to not to give up.  The search continues...

Day 33- Inspiring Kids

My kids inspire me everyday. 

This week we during our small group reading time we have been reading a leveled reader entitled "Making a Difference."  This is a story about a student who decides to hold a school canned food drive.  Today, two of the girls in my first group decided that they wanted to hold a canned-food drive at our school.  They took the initiative to present it to the Principal to get approval.  They are so excited about making posters, announcing on the intercom, and researching where to take the food. 

I am so lucky to have students who think about others. 

Day 32- Not Crazy

Day 31- Fix

Tag:  For days that could not get any worse...
Tag:  For when you are ready to sink deep into a hole and raise a white flag...
Tag:  For a time when you finally cried after holding in those salty tears for so long...

Grab your laptop and head to the lavatory.  Place the burgandy hand towel on the toilet seat and rest your laptop as to not give it a "soggy bottom."  Make sure, oh this is a very important component, that you have hung up your new clear shower curtain and have put yourself behind it.  Before you do this, however, you should make sure you turn your lights off. You may have to stumble your way back if you have not turned your laptop on to provide light.  And if you have done this (turned it on) do that before you get behind the curtain too.  Now, here it is your choice on whether you would like to add bath salts,  bubbles, etc to your water.  Go with how your feeling, you know.  So, here we are.  Turn the water on, while sitting in the dark bathroom lit by the backlight of your laptop.  Fill the tub with water and splash water onto the inside of the curtain.  You need to make sure that the majority of the curtain's surface is covered with droplets of water. When the tub is filled to your satisfaction, turn the water off, sit back and wait.  What are you waiting for? The backlight will suddenly turn off, just when you have finally realized that the relaxing setting you have created is perfect.

Insert feelings here.

P.S.:  If you do not have a latop, tub, and clear shower curtain, I am sorry... please find something else to pull you out of your abyss...

Day 30- Sunshine

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day.  

According to my car, it was 70 degrees when I was out today.  It is so nice to see this beautiful weather that has been on hiatus for the past while.  I am sure everyone is itching their britches and getting spring fever now.  

I, however, will enjoy our last few weeks of the chilly season.

Day 29- Haircut

Today I cut my luscious locks. 

There is something so refreshing about changing your hair in a drastic way.  I don't know if I will miss my long hair or not, but I can say that I am digging the new do for now.

Day 28- Weekend

It's Friday!!!

Day 27- Me Wants

Day 26- Kisses

Gabe and I invent new cutesy kisses all the time. 

Yes, I am seriously posting this. 

Sometimes these silly kisses stick around for a long time, sometimes they are lost within a week or two.  Just recently we have come up with another (and by we, I mean me- because this is something I usually do- Gabe goes along just because, well, he's awesome Gabe) that is perhaps my favorite.  It is what I now like to call the "cartoon kiss."  Just imagine (if you haven't already stopped reading by now for thinking this is ridiculous) an overly-puckered, annoying Japanime sound effect kiss and you probably have it.  

It makes me giggle on the inside so I don't care what you think.  I like it. 

Day 25- Loss

I weighed in this morning for the Marion school Biggest Loser...

  lost 5 pounds this week.  I have never lost that much weight in one week before.  

Also, I found that I really, really enjoy exercise. 

Day 24- Snow Flakes

An unexpected dusting of snow flurries this morning was great.  Snow is so beautiful and watching it fall in the beams of my headlights this morning was lovely.

Day 23- Groceries

I noticed today while loading our groceries onto the conveyor belt at the store that over the past year our eating has completely changed.  Looking at all the colorful fruits and veggies and other items made me feel so good.  Eating right and exercise has become much more of a priority in my life and I think it is a beautiful thing to feel this healthy.

Day 22- Drive In

Monday through Friday around 6:45 am you can find me in about the same place.  I am taking the same road to the same destination at the same time.  And more than likely I am putting my make up on while driving, just entering Shelby (this is one of my many bad habits, but I like to see it as time efficient).  See, I  have my morning routine down, dovetailing all tasks as to allow myself to wake up at the last possible second.  Today while making this same drive to see a student's basketball game a place I have seen countless times, a place I have even visited, stood out to me like never before.  Today, however, I was taking the same road to a different destination at a different time- perhaps that is why? 

From a distance I could see the old, almost retro, "Sunset Drive In" sign.  In big letters it said "closed."  It caught my attention first as I looked at it and thought it would be a great photograph.  As I passed the drive-in I glanced over at the huge dilapidated screen.  It was worn from years of weathering but still looked like it could last forever.  Then I noticed all of the white poles sticking out of the ground- they looked like gigantic straws diagonally coming out from the grass. 

It all looked so empty and lonely and very much like a wasted space.  This is what made it so beautiful to me.  I thought to myself how happy this place must be in the winter to get a rest from people trampling all through it to watch a movie in the comfort of their cars, lawn chairs, tailgates, blankets... 

Day 21- Kid

"Miss Goad, you are the only teacher that acts like a kid."

Day 20- Wolf Like Me

For the past three days I have listened to this song the last leg of my drive home.  Many times when a cd is in my cd player I do not take it out... I just listen to it one or two songs at a time over and over again.  This cd, I found myself listening to this song over and over.  I really do not think there is a better song to drive to. There are many Radiohead songs that are forever favorites for driving, but this song takes driving to a whole new level.  From the very beginning of the song, dancing is not an option it is a reflex.  Yes, people stare and smile or giggle, but it makes it that much more enjoyable.  I mean, is it really possible to even listen to this song with out getting into it? 

Yes, please turn it up!

Thank you TV on the Radio for making my drives more enjoyable and full of beautiful dancing fun.

Day 19- Angels in America pt. 2

Tonight, my most marvelous counterpart and I finished Angels in America (the mini-series).  

I must say that upon completion of the first disc we had to seriously think before deciding that we would finish the series and get the next disc.  The beginnings were a little slow and cheesy for my taste.  However, I enjoyed the characters, Roy being my favorite, from the get-go.  Al Pacino plays the best conservative republican homophobic homosexual with AIDS- Roy.  Harper (Mary Louise Parker tripping out on depression meds at all times) was a close second.  The writing was fantastic, but still... the first disc just didn't "stick" for me.  

Disc 2 took the dark turn that I was craving.  The characters, who were already the best part, became more and more... commanding.  I found myself hanging on to every word coming from every mouth.  I found myself not blinking as to not miss one of the ever-changing emotions that was being thrown at me.  I found myself being completely submerged in this story line that I once was so unsure of.  

I didn't like the very ending.  I liked the ending, or the "resolution" or whatever, but the last scene was unnecessary.  Everything else on this second disc, leading up to this ending, in all of it's cheesiness, was perfect.  It was thought provoking, influential, depressing, forceful, fantastical and beautiful.

Day 18- Angels in America

Belize: Mmmm. Big city. Overgrown with weeds, but flowering weeds. On every corner a wrecking crew and something new and crooked going up catty corner to that. Windows missing in every edifice like broken teeth, gritty wind, and a gray high sky full of ravens.
Roy Cohn: Isaiah.
Belize: Prophet birds, Roy. Piles of trash, but lapidary like rubies and obsidian, and diamond-colored cowspit streamers in the wind. And voting booths. And everyone in Balenciaga gowns with red corsages, and big dance palaces full of music and lights and racial impurity and gender confusion. And all the deities are creole, mulatto, brown as the mouths of rivers. Race, taste and history finally overcome. And you ain't there.
Roy Cohn: And Heaven?
Belize: That was Heaven, Roy.

Day 17- Dinner

Tonight I had the wonderful privilege to treat my dad to dinner.  It is so nice to do something for someone who has done everything for you.

Day 16- In the Sky

...there were these long, puffy strings of pink cotton candy. 

What beautiful clouds they were.

Day 15- Wake Up

The internet was down here all day yesterday... Day 14 is lost. 

This morning I woke up and like most mornings stumbled into the bathroom, hitting a few door frames, to relieve myself.  Gabe followed, and then went  to make his morning coffee while I decided to lay in bed for a while.  Of course I drifted back to sleep and stole another 20 minutes, unintentionally. Inside info: Me, I am unusually excited about sleep.  When I see someone lay down to go to sleep in a movie or on a tv show I get giddy just thinking about myself sleeping later.  And at night when I decide to shut my eyes to fall asleep, that few minutes before I actually fall into the unconscious- that is my favorite time of the day.  

Anyway, this morning I woke up for the second time to Gabe playing guitar.  He plays so beautifully, even though at any mention of his guitar playing he quickly tells you how he is so out of practice and hasn't played in x amount of time.  To me, perhaps it is because I am musical instrument talentless, everything he plays is perfect.  Slowly waking up to each pick and strum...

I can tell you, this was the best way to wake up and a beautiful start to my day. 

Day 13- Bath

I do not usually take baths.  This is not because I don't enjoy baths, but rather because it makes me feel gross to take a bath in a shower where other people- people I do not know and have never met- have put their feet.  I am not usually this neurotic about these things... it just...is an uncomfortable thought for me.  

Today I noticed that Gabe had cleaned the shower.  I have been so cold and have been bundled up all night trying to get warm.  It didn't work and I knew the only thing that would work was a hot, hot bath. 

So... I had the most amazing bath ever.  It am perfectly warm right now which has made my night comfortable and beautifully relaxing.

Day 12- Ice

It happened this morning...

on the way to work, driving in the sun that was MIA the past few days.  No school, 2 hour delay for teachers- this means I had this "I am strolling on into work" mentality.  

Gabe had given me a mixed cd.  He handed me two, actually.  They were identical and not labeled.

Gabe- Here these are for you

Me- Are they mixed cds or one artist? or what?

Gabe- Mixes.  One is for like a dance party; the other is... acoustic. 

Me- k. Thanks. 

On the way to work I put one of these cds in.  I was not sure if it would be this dance party mix or the mellow acoustic mix but had decided to listen to it fully no matter what it was.  It was the latter (this made me happy, as I was definitely in more of a "mellow-mood" this morning). As the second or third song was coming on the most beautiful thing happened in the lane going the opposite way (on Hwy 74).  

Thinking back I can't even remember what, specifically, the song was.  All I know is that it was, as Gabe had previously described, "acoustic" and I am sure it helped make this moment so beautiful.   Anyway, the second I looked over the opposite lane a large semi-truck-thing (never have been sure of the proper term for these) released a layer of snow directly towards the sky.  It happened exactly the instant I looked at it as though my glance had actually caused this eruption.  This semi had been driving for who knows how long with this large sheet of ice frozen solid to it's roof.  I guess the air finally hit it right, or the truck hit a bump, or whatever. Whatever it was, it was beautiful.  The sun shining through all the pieces that seemed to fly up in an instant and fall in slow motion.

It reminded me of these shapes that we use in elementary schools for math instruction- tangrams.  They are those shapes that are different primary colors and include shapes like parallelograms, rhombi, squares, etc..  Well, yeah, it was like 50 huge white tangrams had shot into the air from this truck. 

...and I felt lucky to witness it.

Day 11- Kid

Tonight, while sledding we met this cool kid, T.  We tried to find a sled today to replace our cardboard boxes that were, well, shreds at this point.  We did not find a sled, but our crafty neighboors had rigged a sled using some vinyl and other objects- I mean, it worked or whatever.  

So this kid, T, comes up and has this plastic sled.  We watch him sled down the hill in envy of his toy. He went down a few times and I guess he could see how much we wanted what he had.  So, T, in all of his awesomeness, offered his sled up to us.  I, of course, immediately jumped on this opportunity to really go down this hill.  I did, we did and it was super fun.  T kept up with the rotations of "turns" with his sled.  He did not use it any more or any less than anyone else out there.  He was awesome and made our sledding experience the best ever.

Day 10- Snow

I am having a secret love affair with this snow.  I know I am supposed to be upset that we are going to have to make-up these days at school, but I am just overjoyed and inspired by the beauty of the white landscape outside of my window.  It is so neat how at 7:00 pm when we went out to play it still seemed so light outside.  The lights all bouncing off of the white coated ground made everything seem so...artificial.  I liked it.  We went sledding with cardboard boxes.  I seem to enjoy this more than a real sled.  It feels like an adventure this way.  Like we had this neat idea that no one else had.  

OH! We made mint chocolate snow cream.  Yeah, eat that up. 

Day 9- Good Eats

Today I enjoyed a day of beautiful food. 

For Breakfast...

I made orange and cranberry muffins with real cranberries.  They were delectable.  

For Dinner...

I made the most beautiful cucumber and bean salad.  I used my new knives that I got for Christmas and took my time cutting up each vegetable, trying to dice uniformly.  With this salad we had portabello burgers with pesto sauce on ciabatta rolls.  It was absolutely one of the best and fresh dinners I have made in a while.  I loved using so many colorful veggies!

Day 8- Stumbled Upon...

Day 7- Crescent Moon

Tonight, the moon looked down with a silly grin










.

Day 6- Reader

I have a student who is considered a "non-reader."  Today, my non-reader voluntarily read a complete sentence out loud in front of a group students with no mistakes. This same student, the first several weeks of class, would "hide" between bookshelves and under tables during our "reading circle."  He was afraid to be called on to read- even though that is something I do not do, I only take volunteers during reading circle. 

I was thrilled when I happened to walk by his small group who was reading a levelled reader that corresponds to our main text on Benjamin Franklin.  

I have watched him grow so much in the past few months and have been inspired by his growing desire to exceed all expectations. 

I get so much joy from my profession. 

Day 5- Multiple Personalities

Today I got a letter from my mom.  She is in jail, once again.  Normally this would upset me to some degree, but tonight it did not. Maybe I am just getting used to it? But really, who gets used to that?

In the letter she told me she has multiple personality disorder.  She was diagnosed while in jail.  I don't know why this made me feel better, but for some reason it did.  Perhaps it is because it answers many questions I have.  I am not sure...

that's all I have to say.

And for those of you asking yourself, "is this something Kristin considers beautiful?" Just know my response would be a simple nod of the head.

Day 4- Dad

Warning/Disclaimer: This is a sappy, yet beautiful (to me), entry. 

This Christmas was different from any other Christmas in that I did not get to see my dad.  Because of snow, sickness, and distance, this year we celebrated a week and three days later (today).  I do not want to ever do that again (wait), but it was so fantastic to see him.  He, Alisa, and I exchanged some gifts and had supper.  It was all very delightful.  

Upon my departure, driving out of the driveway, I was reminded of the Sundays when I used to leave to go back to school.  After visiting for a weekend, sometimes feeling like I couldn't wait to get back to Boone, it was always so hard for me to leave.  Many times I would want to just go back, turn around, and be safe. But one thing that kept me going and going and going...

that was my dad.  

I always wanted to make him proud.  I never wanted to let him down.  This was not in a negative or unhealthy way- it was what kept me going so many...hard...days. I remember always telling people, "he is my rock."

  I still feel this way and when he tells me he is proud of me or how great I am, I always think in my head "thanks, to you"  (cheesy, yet so true).

Day 3- V

While living in these apartments for the past 4 months, I have somehow gone from having 2 cats to having 6-8 cats.  When we first moved in and I saw the clan of stray cats who had settled in our new dwelling, I was hesitant on feeding them. 

Will it annoy the neighbors?

Do I want to make this a habit?

Will more come? 

It took, however, only about a week before I was feeding them scraps from dinner... then a few weeks later I was buying cat food for them (the cheap brand, of course)... and shortly after that I was naming them.  I would constantly try to pet them but they always ran away from my outstretched hands.  Eventually I was able to get 2 of these cats to let me pet them- one even comes and visits our inside cats on occasion.  I was excited and was thrilled to see them bask in my attention.  We named these two, Barton Fink and Sky.  Both of them have only one eye.

And then there was V...

V is probably the ugliest cat.  V's coat looks like one of those paint blots you make in elementary school- the ones where you fold a piece of construction paper in half, put a few dots of paint in the middle, and press the sides together- the dots of paint being brown, black, and yellow.  

V has become Arlo's (our beloved Siamese cat) girlfriend, I do believe.  They sit on opposite sides of our bedroom window glass and seem to play with each other.  For this reason I very much wanted to pet her.  I tried constantly and she would just sniff my fingers and then run and roll around on the grass. But...

Tonight! Tonight! Tonight she let me pet her.  It was only for a second, but to me it was SWEET SWEET victory.  I am happy now.  The end.

Day 2- "Miss Goad"

Today as I was preparing for school to start back, I decided it was time to clean all the student-made drawings from the sides of my desks. This is the new year, time to start fresh. See, as I get these drawings, doodles, posters, etc. from my students, I display them by taping them to the front and side of my desk.  I love getting these and love even more to see how much it means to my students when I hang them.  I have been doing this since the beginning of the year and as I filled the desk sides, I began taping the artwork on top of each other, creating layers and layers of notebook paper, computer paper, and construction paper that was full of bubble-letters, rainbows, letters, comic strips, signature pages, page-sized flowers, mazes...  

As I was peeling away these layers, I came upon a rap that a student had written about me.  I remember the day he gave it to me and how we laughed and smiled as I read it out loud.  Some parts were funny, some sweet, some put their just so it could rhyme.  I immediately  taped it to my desk (on top of others) and this awesome kid, he showed me his satisfaction-filled smile. Today, after finding it, I read it again.  I realized this time how sweet and honest the words are.  

Miss Goad

Miss Goad is cool Miss Goad is fun
Miss Goad is a mom to everyone.

She cares about what you say

She has a new outfit everyday. 

She is 12 years older than us

and she doesn't like to fuss. 

If you do something wrong you have to pull a stick

and don't even try to catch a fit. 

She makes stuff fun

and she waits for you to get done

she lets us work  in partners everyday

if you are not organized you will pay

you don't want to make a mess

she'll clean up some and you'll do the rest

I love her because she is so cool

you should have seen her when she was in school

If your row is nice and neat

she will give you a sweet treat

I tell you now she is smart

and Miss Goad has a lot of heart! 

We play sparkle every Thursday

And she will give some stuff away

She is so neat...

and did I mention she gives out treats?

My teacher.

Day 1- New Year

I waved good-bye to 2010 on the edge of my seat during Aronofsky's new flick, Black Swan, with my most amazing male counterpart.  As we were driving home and listening to a CD featuring a mix of some of my favorite songs, this song played.  It was very late-or early- and was the most perfect ending to a great night.  The song is by Thom Yorke and PJ Harvey and is called This Mess We're In.  

It's beauty, and the beauty of the moment in which I experienced it... 

I was, 

how do you say it?  

moved. 

 please enjoy: 

and in the distant future, when I get hitched, this will be my wedding march.  decided.